Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? Uve been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.


**********


Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.



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Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

**********

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"

**********


Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.

Boy: Its very kind of you, darling, But I dont have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well thats because we arent married yet.


**********


A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadnt left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "Id have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE"

**********


Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his

parents."

**********


Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: " Billionaire"